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Preserving your marriage when other factors are involved

  1. Kids

  2. Work

  3. Money

  4. Personal and professional ambitions

  5. Aging parents

  6. Improving or maintaining good health In other words, there were lots of competing demands on your time and attention. Your marriage was pushed to the background. Therefore, your connection with your spouse decreased. How do you deepen your connection, improve your communication, and help your marriage flourish again? I challenge you to identify your top priorities for your personal life. Really consider the items that you truly believe are paramount and desire to focus on regularly. As a part of this challenge, I encourage you to consider what ranking the following items should have:

  7. Self-care

  8. Marriage

  9. Family

  10. Religion/ spiritual growth

  11. Communication with people Let me suggest a few items to consider as top priorities. If your attitude, energy, mental capacity, and overall functioning are depleted, you cannot help anyone else in any capacity. Hence, self-care needs to be a top priority and should be practiced routinely. Self-care allows you to be kind to yourself while also teaching others how to treat you. Self-care enables you to operate optimally spiritually, emotionally, and from a mental and physical perspective. When you mindfully practice self-care, you tend to give from your overflow rather than from your lack. Another top priority should include your marriage. Just as you have to continually put forth an effort to keep your great figure, you too must put forth an effort in your marriage. Matthew 12:25 states, “Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, ‘Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.” Therefore, to promote unity in your marriage and household, you need to prioritize your marriage. Make time for conversations, dating, romance, relaxing, and also planning for your marriage and household. The final top priority recommended is family. Family is broad and can include your children, parents, siblings, and extended family. More often, we see that the working population is caring for children/teens and aging parents and/or other family members. To make your family a priority, consider what actions you need and want to take with them and how you want to engage your family. Sometimes your actions will mean being flexible with your requests and expectations, being open to and trying new ideas that others present, and being fully present with your family when you engage them. Overall, as you accept this challenge, consider what you want your focus to be. You will practice being intentional with your actions, efforts, and time. The benefits will be endless! Kyri Harris, MS, LPC, NCCThe Clarity Psychological Group

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