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Raphael & Aretha Wright

The Miseducation of Marriage Sex Talk


We married at a very young age; I was 19 my wife 18.  The subject of sex in church was pretty much taboo so I as a husband had no idea what to do or how.  As a virgin who was getting married and did not want to disappoint my soon to be wife, I prayed and ask God what to do. He led me to a book on the human body where he told me to focus on how the male and female genitalia operate.  Now why did God have me to go there and not to the scripture at that time?  God knew that I needed basic, scientific information about human anatomy not if it is ok to do this or that in that moment.  In that book I learned a few things about the female anatomy which developed a passion for me to focus on pleasing my wife.  I believe that studying her body allowed me to fulfill the scripture in three ways. 


1.      Enjoy your Marriage. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 5: 18-19 TPT (The Passion Translation) “Your sex life will be blessed as you take joy and pleasure in the wife of your youth. Let her breasts be your satisfaction, and let her embrace intoxicate you at all times. Be continually delighted and ravished with her love!” So, discovering ourselves and one another became one of the paths to intimacy in our marriage.


2.      Study your Spouse.  Understanding how to enjoy one another and this marriage we needed to “understand” one another, I Peter 3:7 GNT (Good News Translation) In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.  We should understand one another and live based on what we have learned through conversations, watching one another’s habits, seeing what we like and don’t like in everyday life and in the bedroom.


3.      The Marital Bed is undefiled. Lastly, we must believe that sex is one of the ways we fulfill God’s desire for our lives.  Hebrews 13:1-4 MSG Honor marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband...” this scripture is not just telling us to enjoy each other when having sex, but it is also removing the judgement of spouses enjoying each other.


Enjoying your spouse sexually is one of the keys to having fun in marriage. There is no better environment where we as couples can let down our guard, open up and be vulnerable and genuine with your spouse.  So, learn more about God’s design to provide joy in your marriage though sex, hear tips on how to please your spouse more.  Gain understanding on how your sex life is an important part in your marriage.  Let’s have The Sex Talk.

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