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Spend My Life With You

Does anyone remember this song?This is one of my all-time favorites. Truly, Eric Benet and Tamia did that! While they are singing this song, you can just envision you and your spouse spending quality time together, laughing, loving and enjoying each other’s company. But how many of us get so wrapped up into our day to day lives that often times, we forget that we are truly supposed to be spending our lives with our spouses? In reading Uncommon Marriage by Tony & Lauren Dungy, I am reminded of this very thing. Tony mentions that it was important for him and Lauren to build in time for each other, especially with such a busy lifestyle. Date nights gave them time to catch up and enjoy each other without interruption. Now, while date nights are fine and dandy, they are just for one night… either consistently or periodically! In order to really tune into your spouse, wouldn’t it be better to spend a complete weekend totally un-interrupted together… no work email, no business phone calls, no kids, etc.? Lauren mentions that she and Tony talked a lot about maintaining their priorities- God, each other, their children, and then other important causes. That led me to thinking… do we, as married couples, maintain our marriage as a priority? Sure, we worship and reverence God by attending church and hopefully, by attending a bible study or two and praying on a regular basis. But do you make your spouse a priority or do you always put time with him or her on the backburner for little Jordan’s baseball game, little Layla’s soccer game, the family reunion, the girlfriend’s weekend trip, the golfing weekend trip with your buddies, etc.? Now, don’t get me wrong. These things are all important as well and should be entertained but we must ALWAYS find time as well for our spouse! That’s where the Heart of Marriage Retreat comes in! To be quite honest, I was completely oblivious to the fact that Kelvin and I really needed to spend some much needed one on one time together. We were so busy making a home for ourselves and our 3 girls that we just kinda let life happen. I mean, sure, we did family trips together with our 3 girls and often would include our parents as well. But we only did date nights here and there (they were not consistent) and anniversary trips during special milestones (like for our 10th anniversary, we went to California and did a drive along the West Coast and for our 15th anniversary, we went to Miami). Side note- wonder where we are going for our 20th next year, Mr. McDuffie? :)  While these are all good stepping stones, adding the Heart of Marriage (HOM) Retreat to the mix as one of our couples’ trips annually has been a highlight in our marriage. Ever since we first started going to the HOM Retreat back in September 2010, we have truly seen the difference it makes in helping us stay better connected. And what better way to spend time, then by spending time with our Christian couple friends as well. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:1 “If you are a wife, you must put your husband first.” (Contemporary English Version). Then, in Proverbs 5:18, it states “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (New Living Translation). What better way to put your husband first and to rejoice in the wife of your youth than by attending the HOM Retreat, where you will spend some quality one-on-one time with your spouse! Remember, our children are only with us for a season but our marriage with your spouse is for a lifetime! Don’t let the busyness of this world take away the priority of marriage in your life. Won’t you join us? By: Fredereka McDuffie



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