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Learning to Confront in a Godly Way

  1. Confront the situation ASAP but choose the right time and place.

  2. Address the action or decision, not your spouse personally.

  3. Stay in the present.  Avoid rehashing past battles.

  4. Confront only those things that can be changed by actions taken by either spouse.  (There are some things that neither spouse will control)

  5. Never interrupt

  6. Give your spouse benefit of the doubt

  7. Be specific.  Don’t assume that your spouse will be able to “read between the lines.”

  8. Avoid sarcasm at all cost!

  9. Avoid words like “always” and “never.”

  10.  If appropriate, express your feelings about the situation.  Be willing to listen to your spouse’s feelings without judgment or getting on the  defensive

  11.  End with a resolution to the situation.  Have a plan!

  12. Always end with an affirmation of your love for each other and do something together to enhance your reconnection. It is only natural that two individuals with different minds and different life experiences who come together as man and wife will have confrontations as a couple. But, when you learn how to use confrontation to build each other up rather than tear each other down, your marriage and bond becomes stronger day by day.  Every couple faces confrontations, but these confrontations can help you build a relationship that can last “as long as you both shall live”. Trennis Harvey

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