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A Silent Marriage: How Not to Be Unhappy with Your Spouse

  1. TALK- It’s important for you and your spouse to start talking to one another in a transparent way. Be honest about what you are feeling and your fears. Discuss how the emotional and physical disconnect has affected you. Listen respectfully to one another and end each conversation with a plan to resolve one issue as a team.

  2. EXPLORE- Your spouse is not the same person you married years ago. This is partly due to how humans evolve as a result of life experiences. The longer your spouse is silent in the marriage means the longer you’ve missed out on relating and connecting to your spouse. Make an effort to get to know your spouse all over again.

  3. AFFIRM- Whenever your spouse walks out of your home, it’s the world that he or she has to face. Build your spouse up with kind and encouraging words. This will help bring the two of you closer together, set the foundation for more transparency and sharing, as well as foster confidence in your spouse.

  4. SEDUCE- It may feel awkward in the beginning to seduce someone you haven’t been connected to in years; however, I want you to pursue and seduce with the goal to “love with no boundaries.” Ask yourself, “What ways can I give myself to my spouse without limitations?” Don’t over think this. Simply have a mission to show love. You can do this by writing short love notes, late night dessert dates after the kids are asleep, cuddling, or flirting.

  5. ENTERTAIN- Have fun with each other. Develop a dating calendar to schedule your dates for the month. Arrange in advance to have a babysitter, if you have children. Be flexible and adventurous and remind one another why you fell in love. There is laughter in love, so it’s time for the two of you to smile, laugh, and embrace. The antidote to an unhappy marriage is to TEASE your spouse daily. Do you think you can become a teaser? After reading this blog post, I want you to pray and make an intentional decision to show up in your marriage with the sole purpose to TEASE. Shaneka McClarty will be a facilitator at the 2016 Heart of Marriage Retreat. Visit her profile page to learn more about her.

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