Marriage is a journey that has its ups and downs through every stage of life. One aspect of marriage that is often overlooked is the daily routine. This routine can either become an engaging rhythm that couples enjoy and embrace because they know each other well and are moving to the beat of the same drum, or it can feel like a boring routine that couples begin to dread. Let’s explore the two perspectives and then offer five ways that couples can transform the way they view and experience the same activities in a way that will enhance their marriage.
The Engaging Rhythm
When couples have been together for a while, they develop a sense of familiarity that can create an engaging rhythm in their daily routine. They know each other's likes and dislikes, and they learn to accommodate each other's needs. This sense of familiarity can create a feeling of comfort and security that couples enjoy and embrace each day. Partners who have a strong connection often find that they can read each other's moods and are in sync with each other's needs. They can appreciate the small moments, like a cup of coffee together in the morning or date night at their favorite neighborhood restaurant. Even “Spaghetti Wednesday” or weekly “Fish on Friday” can become something you anticipate with pleasure as it brings an opportunity to connect and bond.
The Dreaded Routine
On the other hand, a daily routine can also feel monotonous and create a sense of disconnection between couples. When couples get into a routine, instead of embracing and looking forward to their favorite meal or that morning cup of coffee they may look at it as just the same old, same old. They may stop making an effort to keep things interesting, they may stop having meaningful conversations, or they may stop doing the things that they used to enjoy together. This can lead to a feeling of being stuck in a rut, and it can create a sense of dissatisfaction with the marriage. When this happens, it's important for couples to recognize the issue and do something to reignite the spark.
Transforming the Routine
Couples can transform the way they view and experience the same activities that feel like routine into encounters that they anticipate. Here are five ways that couples can make the same old something to look forward to:
Add a new twist: Couples can add a new twist to their daily routine. For example, they can try cooking a new recipe for dinner, instead of always watching TV on the couch, they could watch a movie in bed or on the patio. By adding a new twist, couples can create a sense of excitement and anticipation in their daily routine.
Create rituals: Couples can create rituals that they both look forward to. This could include cooking a special meal together on Friday nights or going for a walk every morning before work. By creating rituals, couples can create a sense of structure and anticipation.
Plan special moments: Couples can plan special moments throughout their week. This can include going out to dinner, going for a walk, or taking a dance class together. By planning special moments, couples can create new memories and experiences together.
Take turns planning: Couples can take turns planning the same activities. This can include planning what’s for dinner, a surprise date or a weekend getaway. By taking turns planning, couples can learn more about each other's interests and create new experiences together.
Be present: By being present and intentional about every aspect of marriage, couples can find renewed enjoyment of the routine. This can include putting away their phones during dinner or turning off the TV during a conversation. By being present, couples can focus on each other and strengthen their connection.
In conclusion, the daily routine of marriage can either be an engaging rhythm where two people enjoy and embrace each other or a boring routine that they begin to dread. By adding a new twist, creating rituals, taking turns planning, and being present in the moment, couples can transform the way they view and experience the same activities that feel like routine into encounters that they anticipate in a way that enhances their marriage. These simple steps can help couples deepen their connection, enhance their communication, and reignite the spark in their relationship. Ultimately, it's up to you as a couple to make an effort to keep your marriage fresh.
Mike Watkins
Atlanta, GA