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  • Stefanie Hughes

Honesty


Marriage values vary from one relationship to another.  I encourage the couples I see to

define their values individually and then explore what commonalities they have with their

partner.  Of course, we can’t expect to be clones of one another but there should be some

similarity.  Those values you identify in common are your “Marriage values.” Now, over

the course of a marriage, our values may shift as we evolve in the many roles we will

carry in a lifetime.  But there is one value I believe that should be in every relationship. 

Honestly by definition is the ability to be truthful; a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any

way.  It requires intent and making a choice daily to operate in a place of integrity.  All

relationships need honesty to fully thrive.  This need to thrive goes beyond the individual

and the couple.  It pours to our seed, those we are charged to be an example for.  


This journey called life is too short to not live in honesty.  Especially when we have

procreated. Our seeds look to us for guidance and they model what they see in us. If we

walk in dishonesty, we in turn teach our seeds to be deceitful, yet we anger when they lie

to us, but forget we taught it to them.  


Simply strive for greater and better in your character.  I'm not suggesting that you be

perfect or holier than thou, but I am suggesting you take a look in the mirror and if the

reflection that faces you shows some fears of being genuine; work to free yourself from

the superficial, ego boosted self you have been promoting with a mask of deception.  Be

courageous and explore the root of your issues, if not for you, for the seeds you have

produced .........for their chance at greatness is first seen in what you model for them. 


“How?” you say.  

  1. Acknowledgement of when you have not operated in honesty with yourself, your spouse and or others.

  2. Repent and ask for forgiveness from God and the person(s).

  3. Seek resources to aide in allowing you to speak your truth in safety and confidence without judgment.  This can be a friend, confidant, minister or therapist. 

  4. If you identify that dishonesty is a pattern or even a value for you but you want to change, explore professional assistance to reveal the tru origin to your actions. Work on YOU.  

Again, you and everyone attached to you is using you as a model for their walk.  Don’t

lead them in an unfavorable direction.  Be brave enough to take the steps to heal and

grow.  Let your light shine so they and you can see the goodness of all God has in store

for us!


Atlanta, GA

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